More from Peter Kay:

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

A friend of mine got knocked down by a mobile library. He was lying in the road screaming and the driver got out and said, "Shh!'”

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the toilet is?