GUM
(Frank Grant, Eden [Idaho])

When I was only twenty,
I was wild and full of fun;
I flirted with every girl I met--
Unless she was chewing gum!

I met a fair young maiden--
She seemed a perfect chum;
But I tell you now I didn't know then
She was fond of chewing gum!

I took her to a ball one night;
They all thought she was dumb,
For she stopped right in the middle of a dance
And took a chew of gum!

One day I kissed her big red lips,
Just to see if she would run;
But I got my little black mustache
All tangled up in her gum!

I proposed and she accepted,
The wedding day to come;
The priest was there to tie the knot--
But her mouth was full of gum!

I finally got disgusted
And went off on the bum;
I swore I'd never marry a girl
That was fond of chewing gum.

From Songs and Ballads: Folk Material and Old Favorites, Collected by [James] Kenneth Larson in McCammon, Idaho. Undated [c1933], typescript. Tune not indicated.

See online here:

https://archive.org/details/1933-1972jameskennethlarson/page/n15/mode/1up