this is what I can recall from 60+ years ago when we sang it in the fraternity


Our family’s business is booming,
I hardly know where to begin.
We answer man’s needs and desires.
My God, how the money rolls in!

Rolls in, rolls in, my God, how the money rolls in, rolls in!
Rolls in, rolls in, my God, how the money rolls in!

My father makes book on the corner.
My mother brews illicit gin.
My sister’s a famous porn actress.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My brother's a medical student.
His scalpels are long, sharp, and thin.
He only knows one operation.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My auntie makes chocolate brownies
And puts marijuana within.
They sell very well on the playground.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My uncle’s a street corner preacher
He saves fallen women from sin.
He'll save you a blonde for ten dollars.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My grandpa sells cheap prophylactics,
He punctures each one with a pin
‘Cause grandma gets rich from abortions.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My daughter works as a dancer.
She shows quite a lot of her skin,
Collecting big tips from the patrons.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My wife is the family chemist.
A role she fits naturally in.
She’s now cooking Meth in the kitchen.
(was: She makes LSD in the kitchen)
My God, how the money rolls in!

My son is an amateur printer.
The press is downstairs in the bin.
Our counterfeit’s widely accepted.
My God, how the money rolls in!

Myself, I run a bordello.
Each night when the evening grows dim,
I hang a red light in the window.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My mother-in-law’s an accountant.
We keep her head in a spin,
Investing all of our income.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My father-in-law is a banker,
A very important linchpin,
He launders all of our paper.
My God, how the money rolls in!

My cousin’s the District Attorney,
Elected to crack down on sin.
So now we’ve got no competition.
My God, how the money rolls in!

When I think about how we’ve succeeded,
It brings to my face a big grin.
By working at so many rackets,
My God, how the money rolls in!

I’m glad to tell you our story,
And introduce some of my kin.
With the family all working together,
My God, how the money rolls in!