In Canada — okay, southwestern Ontario — hie thee to a berry farm (there’s lots) and pick them yourself. Have no truck with those vile things from south of the border.

Wash the little f***ers. Don’t be like me.

Then put some brown sugar in a little dish. Take each berry by the leaves and dip it in the brown sugar. Bite off all parts of the berry that aren’t leaves.

Take it slow. July strawberries are way too important to rush.