My very Norfolk neighbour-across-the-road, Ruth, makes me die laughing at her malapropisms. I sometimes wonder if she does it deliberately, but nonetheless it's so funny. She calls my Alliums 'aliens', my Spirea 'diarrhoea', my Euonymus 'anonymous' and so on. (She does loads of weeding and trimming for me, and I always pay her well, but she thinks I'm far too posh for Norfolk, and she teases me constantly!)