I didn't know it was one of his and I dredged it up entirely from memory this time! Did I really get that close to the original?

Anyway, in reparation for my thieving, here are three of Bob's cracking one-liners. When I read them I can still hear him machine-gunning them out!

"The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time."

"I can still enjoy sex at 74 - I live at 75, so it's no distance."

"People always say: 'You're a comedian, tell us a joke.' They don't say: 'You're an MP, tell us a lie.'"

"When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did HE go back to?"

"I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much."