And Madcap Maud was there, me boys, a fearsome sight was she
With her turbo ton-up trolley, a dreadful sight to see
With not a care for life and limb, she sped along the aisles
And many a poor shopper's life, each week was brought to trial.
.....

So I drew out my chequebook, and the tension I could feel
As Madcap Maud behind me rammed her trolley in my heel.