THE HERMIT

There once was a hermit who lived in a dell,
I swear to the truth of this story I tell,
For my grandfather knew him quite well,
This hermit.

He lived all alone on the side of a lake,
Concoctions and herbs for his food he would he would take,
Nought but a fish would the good man partake,
On a Friday.

Now to ordinary mortals his portals he closed,
Once a year he would bathe his body and clothes,
How the lake ever stood it, God only knows,
He won't tell.

He rose up one morning all dripping and wet,
His horrified vision two young ladies met,
Now in feminine matters, he was no vet,
So he blushed.

He reached for his hat where it lay on the beach,
To cover up all that its broad brim would reach,
And he called to the girls in a horrified screech, -
Go Away.

But the maids only laughed at his piteous plight,
And begged him to show them the wonderful sight
But he clutched at his hat, and held to it tight,
To hide it.

Now just on that instant a wandering gnat
Made the hermit forget just what he was at
He struck at the insect, and let go the hat,
Oh! horrors.

Now I am coming to the crux of my tale,
The hermit turned red. and then he turned pale,
He offered a prayer, for prayers never fail,
So 'tis said.

Of the truth of this story there's no doubt at all,
The Lord heard the prayer and answered the call,
For he let go the hat, and the hat didn't fall,
A blessed miracle.

There didn't seem to be a text on mudcat... So sharing. Didn't run into this except in Oscar Brand and derivatives.