Bloke goes to the doctors' surgery and asks the receptionist if he can have an urgent appointment. The receptionist says that the doctor hasn't got any appointments left but says she'll try to fit him in if she can tell the doc what it's about.

"There's something wrong with my dick!” he replies rather loudly.

She's a bit shocked and offended and says, “Sir, your language…we have women and children in here! Would you like to try that again?”

"Oh, sorry about that,” the man says, “There's something wrong with my ear”.

"That's better… so what's the matter with your ear, sir?”

The man replies, in a loud voice again, “I can’t piss out of it!"