Stop me if you've heard this one-

Doctor: Mr. Jones, I'm afraid you only have only 6 weeks to live.

Jones: Oh God what terrible news!

Doctor: It could be worse.

Jones: HOW, how in heaven's name could it be worse?

Doctor: Well, it could have been me.


Another oldie-

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."