A bloke was at the pearly gates, hoping to get into heaven.

St Peter sez to him, "Not sure about you. Have you ever done a really good deed with which you can impress me?"

"Well, there was this vulnerable young woman who was being seriously harassed by three big bikers. I went up to the biggest one, kicked him in the nuts and told the other two that if they pestered the girl again they'd have me to answer to."

"Wow, that's mighty impressive! So when did this happen?"

"Two minutes ago."