The Tinker, The Tailor

[Spoken] A modern madrigal [/spoken]

Four jolly men went courting of maiden pure and sweet
A tinker, a tailor, a soldier, and a sailor
Each jolly man laid his heart right at her pretty feet
As he sighed and cried
Be my bride

The tinker said, "You'll find I'm very handy with a screw
"My hammer is mighty tool where there is a job to do
"I'll plug your holes and mend your pipes too
If you will marry me,
If you will marry me.

The tinker, the tailor
The soldier, or the sailor
Which one shall it be?
Oh which one shall it be?

The tailor said, "My needle is the longest in the land
"I'll always fit you like a glove. My style is in great demand
"And when I press your pretty things, I'll do it all by hand
"If you will marry me. If you will marry me."

The tinker, the tailor
The soldier, or the sailor
Which one shall it be?
Oh which one shall it be?

The soldier said, "I'll let you hold my trusty bayonet
"It's never missed a target since I was a young cadet
"It's at your service day & night when duty calls my pet
"If you will marry me. If you will marry me.'

The tinker, the tailor
The soldier, or the sailor
Which one shall it be?
Oh which one shall it be?

The sailor said, "Well blow me down just wait until you've seen
"The gorgeous little periscope upon my submarine
"I'll drop my anchor in your port and swab your deck so clean
"If you will marry me. If you will marry me."

The tinker, the tailor
The soldier, or the sailor
Which one shall it be?
Oh which one shall it be?

The maiden said, "Including other things, I've raised your hopes
"But you can keep your needles, bayonets, tools, and periscopes
"I'm wedded to a cowboy and he showed me all the ropes
"The night he married me. The night he married me."

The tinker, the tailor
The soldier, and the sailor
Are crying woe-is-me
How hard this life can be,
How hard this life can be.

As sung by Charley Drew: For the Connoisseur: Vol. 1 LP.

Transcribed from this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uug_h_21YqE