Bloke calls round on his best mate, to find him in a state of doom and gloom.

"Hey, what's up, mate?"

"The missus told me she was going to the shop for a pint of milk. Ten minutes later she sent me a text saying she'd been having an affair and was never coming back!"

"Jaysus, mate, that's terrible! How are you going to cope!"

"I'm just going to have to use the powdered stuff..."