The landlord of a pub had a dog that was well known to all the regulars. One night, as he was ejecting the last, reluctant drinker, he slammed the door on the dog’s tail, chopping it clean off. This caused much comment among the regular customers, and the tail was fixed above the bar for all to see.

Some years later, the dog peacefully passed away in his sleep. He floated up to Doggy Heaven and barked at the pearly gates. St Bernard came to let him in, but noticed his lack of a tail. Rex explained that he'd lost it, but St Bernard said that they only let whole dogs in, so he would have to go back and fetch it.

He floated down to earth again, and got into the pub through the scullery window as usual. He tried to reach the tail over the bar, but couldn't manage it. There was only one thing for it - he would have to get the boss up. He barked until his owner came downstairs in his nightshirt. The landlord was surprised to see his deceased pet sitting there but realised what he was after when he saw him whimpering and looking up at the tail.   He shook his head sadly and said "Well, I'm sorry Rex, but you know the rules - I can’t retail spirits after hours."

DC