I should have figured you were associated with the party records page, John. It's too 'you' not to have been! Anyhow, here's my transcription of the Christopher Columbo #2 recording which you linked above. It's very, very close to the lyrics of the other recording.
(spoken) Strike up the band. (spoken) Up your ass, Butch (spoken) Fuck you, you sonofabitch. (spoken) What the hell is this?
In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety Two A dago from Italio Walked down the streets of Spain by day Yelling hot tamalio
CHORUS Columbo, Columbo He thought the world was round-o That high fanatical, geographical Son-of-a-bitch Columbo
He went unto the queen of Spain He asked for ships and cargo Swore he'd be a sonofabitch If he didn't bring back Chicago
Queen Anne, she says, "Columbus dear "Please, now, don't get frantic But what will you do for poon-tang When you sail the broad Atlantic?"
CHORUS
For weeks and months and months and weeks They sailed the broad Atlantic And for a piece of poon-tang That whole damn crew was frantic.
The skipper came on deck one day His prick was like a mastpole He grabbed a sailor round the neck And he shoved it up his asshole
CHORUS
The skipper's wife come on deck one day Selling shirts and collars But with her cunt in just five minutes He made five thousand dollars
There was a monkey on this deck This monkey's name was Jumbo He grabbed Columbus by the neck And threw it up his asshole