> Dad wasn’t tone-deaf, but he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

Very few people really are actually tone deaf; they're more likely to be what I've heard called "tone dumb".* In Herself's case, it was caused by being intimidated by a music teacher, very publicly, for singing flat. Decades later, with much careful encouragement and practice, I've helped convince Herself otherwise --- when she can choose the pitch, she can sing after all, but sometimes needs to be bump-started.

* Used by Pete Atkin [pri comm] to describe Clive James: "He can't even tap his feet along to a Tamla Motown record."