The posthumous T.S. Eliot anthology "Inventions of the March Hare" includes several variant "Columbo" verses that echo the better-known versions. It also includes a few verses of "The Jolly Tinker," ditto. The compilers of the anthology seem to have assumed these verses were wholly original to Eliot.

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[Columbo and Bolo verses]

Let a tucket be sounded on the hautboys. Enter the king and queen.

Columbo he lived over in Spain Where doctors are not many The only doctor in his town Was a bastard jew named Benny To Benny then Columbo went With countenance so placid And Benny filled Columbo’s prick With Muriatic Acid.

One day the king & queen of Spain They gave a royal banquet Columbo having passed away Was brought in on a blanket The queen she took an oyster fork And pricked Columbo’s navel Columbo hoisted up his ass And shat upon the table.

Columbo and his merry men They set sail from Genoa Queen Isabella was aboard That famous Spanish whore.

Columbo and his mariners They were a merry chorus One Sunday evening after tea They went to storm a whore house. As they were scrambling up the steps Twas then Columbo his got
Molto vivace [musical direction]
A great big whore from the seventh story window She floored him with a pisspot.

Variant [at the foot of the page] A great big whore with blood shot eyes She bitched him with a pisspot.

The cabin boy they had aboard His name was Orlandino A child of upright character But his language was obscene-o. “Fuck Spiders” was his chief remark In accents mild and dulcet. They asked him what there was for lunch And he simply answered “Bullshit.” [Variant above, then end of leaf]

King Bolo’s swarthy bodyguard Were called the Jersey Lilies A wild and hardy set of blacks Undaunted by syphilis. They wore the national uniform Of a garland of verbenas And a pair of great big hairy balls And a big black knotty penis.

King Bolo’s swarthy bodyguard They numbered three and thirty An innocent and playful lot But most disgusting dirty. King Bolo lay down in the shade His royal breast uncovering They mounted in a banyan tree And shat upon their sovereign. [end of leaf]

One day Columbo and his men They took and went ashore Columbo sniffed around the air And muttered “I smell whore” And ere they’d taken twenty steps Among the Cuban jungles They found King Bolo & his queen A-sitting on their bungholes. [end of leaf]

She put the question [?] to the lad [?] The first mate, cook, and bo’sun, But when she saw Columbos balls She jumped into the ocean —

One Sunday morning out at sea The vessel passed Gibraltar Columbo sat upon the poop A-reading in the psalter. The bosuns wife came up on deck With a bucket full of cowshit Columbo grabbed her round the neck And raped her on the bowsprit.

Now when they were three weeks at sea Columbo he grew rooty He took his cock in both his hands And swore it was a beauty. The cabin boy appeared on deck And scampered up the mast-o Columbo grasped him by the balls And buggered him in the ass-o.

One day Columbo and the queen They fell into a quarrel Columbo showed his disrespect By farting in a barrel. The queen she called him horse’s ass And “dirty Spanish loafer” They terminated the affair By fucking on the sofa.

Before another day had passed Columbo he fell sick-o He filled the pump with argyrol And rammed it up his prick-o. And when they touched Cadiz he cried (And let down both his anchors): “We’ll see if there’s a doctor here Can cure the whistling chancres.”

[verso of this leaf]

Columbo and his merry men They went to storm a castle A bullet came along the road And up Columbo’s asshole. Columbo grew so angry then He nearly shit his breeches. “Come on, my merry men,” he cried “We’ll kill the sons of bitches.”

“Avast my men” Columbo cried In accents mild and dulcet “The cargo that we have aboard Is forty tons of bullshit.” The merry men set up a cheer On hearing this reparty. And the band struck up “The Whore House Ball” In accents deep and farty.

On Sunday morning after prayers They took their recreation The crew assembled on the deck And practiced masturbation. Columbo being full of rum He fell down in a stupor They turned his asshole S.S.W. And he cried “I’ll die a pooper!”

Now when Columbo and his ships Regained the Spanish shores The Spanish ladies swarmed aboard By twos & threes & fours. Columbo hoisted up his [?] And then his shirt and drawers He spun his balls around his head And cried “Hooray for whores!”

Flourish. Skirmishes and alarums. Cries without. Exeunt the king and queen severally.