And, does ANYONE remember this one?? It was taught to our basic training course at Fort Knox, by Drill Sergeants Hunter and Anderson, both veterans of the mighty First Air Cav. Thanks, you two!!
COLUMBO
In fourteen hundred and ninety-two, A **** from Bodello, Went waltzing down the streets of Spain, A selling hot tamales. He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That hypothetical, master mate, That son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
He walked right up to the Queen of Spain, And begged for ships and cargo. He said, "I'll be a son-of-a-bitch, If I don't bring back Chicago." He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That hypothetical, masturbating, Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
Said Isabelle to Ferdinand, His plan sounds mighty hazy. Said Ferdinand to Isabelle, I think the fucker's crazy! He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That hypothetical, masturbating, Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
The Queen, she gave him three fine ships. Each one a triple-decker. The Queen, she waved her handkerchief. Columbo waved his pecker. He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That calculating, masturbating, Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
The Queen, she put her jewels in hock, To get Colombo started; She wept soft tears upon the dock, When, at last, her hero parted He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That hypothetical, masturbating, Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
Colombo sighed most pensively; He looked quite dissipated To leave the bars which fringed the dock Was what Colombo hated. He said the world was round, oh! He said it could be found, oh! That hypothetical, masturbating, Son-of-a-bitch, Columbo.
For forty days and forty nights They sailed the broad Atlantic If it wasn't for the sheep aboard The crew, they would have panicked He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, master mate That son of a bitch, Columbo
The Skipper had a cabin boy A dirty little nipper He lined his ass with broken glass And circumcised the skipper He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
A boatswain's mate fell overboard, The sharks did leap and frolic, They ate him up with relish great, But shortly died of colic. He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
The crew got tired and mutineed, They drew their dirks a gatlins's, Colombo drew a marlinspike, And chased them up the ratlines. He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That masturbatingl, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
For days and days, and nights and nights, They sailed the broad Atlantic. If not for the thought of a piece of ass, The sailors would be frantic. He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
The Captain lived, the Captain loved. The Captain's name was Morgan. He lay on the deck a physical wreck, A' playin' with his organ. He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
They spied a whore upon the shore, And off came shirts and collars. In thirteen hours around the clock, She made ten thousand dollars. He said the world was round-o He said it could be found-o That hypothetical, calculating Son of a bitch, Columbo
.......
.......This one went on and on, ad nauseum, and to the delight of every swingin' dick in the platoon! After a while, singing lustily, the verses echoing through forests and across the prairies, wherever and whenever we marched, word was not-so-quietly passed down that the officers' wives had heard, and had been offended by, the lyrics therein, and would we kindly try to keep our voices down when passing through the higher density areas of the base itself, when singing this particular song.