Oh, I was there. There were gallups, scottishes, waltzes, minuets — the usual. No reels, horn pipes, or other vulgar displays. Almost everyone kept most of their clothing on and arranged, and there was no knifings or shooting. Oh, a couple of the young bloods drew out on the veranda but that was quickly squelched and their rapiers broken. All in all, a nice affair with no chimp-howler monkey hybrids present.

The groom is, after all, a game warden in Wisconsin.