A woman and baby are in the doctor's surgery, and the doctor is concerned about the baby's weight.

"Is he bottle-fed or breastfed?"

The woman replies, "Breastfed."

The doctor gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts.

He pinches her nipples and rubs both breasts for a while, possibly a little longer than necessary ...

"No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."

The woman replies,

"I know, I'm his granny ... but I'm glad I came!"

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.

When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second,

"Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"

The second old lady replied,

"Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing?! My gosh, the penis on it was so large!"

Whereupon the first old lady replied,

"...Yeah, and it was so bloody cold too!"