The now-annual furnace crisis began on Friday: fan and condensate pump inactive, water on the cellar floor, indoor conditions uncomfortably warm and sticky. This never happens on a Tuesday in May; no, the correct time for a furnace crisis is Christmas Eve or the Friday afternoon before the August statutory holiday.

The HVAC technician is due before noon, and this time I expect to hear that the furnace wants to turn up its toes and shuffle off this mortal coil. I can hardly wait.