There was a space of a little bit when Trump seemed lampoonable. This lyric spilled out of my awareness of how self-assured bin Laden was about the righteousness of his atrocities. I'm ultimately disappointed with the lack of depth of Trump's comeuppances; but the song is what it is and was written when it was. Mostly for your amusement; if anyone wants to perform this sucker, look me up and I'll get it online or sing you some over the phone or something. Yeah---the scansion is "relaxed" ---to be delivered conversationally.
WHEN ADOLPH HITLER WENT TO HEAVEN
When Adolph Hitler went to heaven He got a big surprise There was this short dark guy leanin' on the desk Givin' him the evil eye
“Gott im Himmel!” said der Führer “Was ist das shwartz face?” Jesus grinned and said, “You've sinned And I'm in charge of your case
“Might'a' been Anubis or Vishnu Or a voice from a clapboard steeple But I raised my hand 'cause of my old man You know the Jews were his chosen people
“And when I preach it's usually A more forgiving kind of a tale But we all agreed your awful deeds Was way beyond the pale
“So first you can walk in the furnace It'll take a century all told We'll see you feel each and every Molecule explode
“And the absolute zero inside of you That void and empty hole We'll fill it with gold teeth and ashes You can use it for a soul
“Then we'll give you a rag and sandals And a wasteland you can roam Where you can play the shofar Till the angels all fly home”
Chorus: Here comes God in his compassion Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin' Down the line in some fine fashion You gonna get what you got comin'
When Osama bin Laden got to Heaven Pride was shining from his eyes “Was I not your most exemplary son God all-powerful and wise?”
Allah gave a great big eye roll He said, “I know you thought it out But you got it WRONG you uncompromising Neolithic lout!
“You missed the part about compassion It's somewhere in the book I forget what page Why don't you sit down here and look
“For all the lifetimes you destroyed We'll round it down and say three grand At a nominal threescore and ten That was allotted to a man
“That's 210,000 years Every night and day You'll study your Quran, And at every verse you'll pray
“At the end there'll be an oral exam It goes on till I say 'when' If at the end you still seem filled with hatred You can do it all again
'The next time through you'll translate to English And put it all in rhyme I will proctor you personally You know I've got the time
“And if I should get bored And need a little chuckle I will borrow Sister Lawler's ruler And rap you on the knuckles
“And if at last you're humbled I will set you free You can have a taste of Paradise And if you want 'em, a virgin or three”
Chorus: Here comes God in his compassion Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin' Down the line in some fine fashion You will get what you got comin'
When Donald J. Trump gets to Heaven He'll think his ears need washin' “Privyet, tovarish!” says St. Peter ….....................“Hey, Don, only joshin'!
“Why don't you pull your jacket off 'Cos it might get pretty warm Take a load off your feet, have a seat And hand me up that form”
St. Peter takes the clipboard And it really pops his eyes “Hey, you filled your application in With verifiable lies
“A bicameral committee Will decide if you go to hell They're all out somewhere golfing But you can park at your hotel
“Got a kinda greasy wall-to-wall And to minimize the clutter You get exactly one solid gold golf ball And one solid gold putter
“You can aim at a solid gold Dixie cup From Reagan's old Rolls Royce But it's also the cup you'll piss in So you'll have to make a choice
“There's a black-and-white TV That allows no shades of gray With nothing but Rachel Maddow 23 hours a day
“She'll interview Bernie and Hillary and Elizabeth Warren while you view And they'll talk and talk and never Say a single word about you
“From 3 to 4 in the morning If you need to rest your eyes There's Hannity and Friends But all they do is apologize
“Room service is iffy What else would it be? It's all students working their way through Trump University
“And you can eat Donald Trump Steaks Served up bloody rare And drink Donnie Johnnie Trumpie Wumpie Warm flat beer
“Your suite is not in Moscow But it will suit you well It's the only room in Trump Tower White Collar Hell”
Chorus: Here comes God in his compassion Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin' Down the line in some fine fashion You will get what you got comin'