Not sure of the title, but I'm looking for the rest of the lyrics to a song that starts out:

On the night of the Wembley Cup final, I had a most horrible dream
I’d just been invited to play for United and Matt put me onto the team
Like a regular hero I charged down the field, and the goal lay wide open ahead
The crowd bellowed “Shoot”, I’d the ball on me boot, when the ref blew his whistle and said….

Ban the bomb, it’s the highest priority
Don’t stand there kicking that ball
If some bloody mutton should sit on the button, there’d be no more soccer at all.
You who think nothing of scragging the ref, should get this idea in your head
So don’t stand around, while we’re still above ground
Let’s scrag old McMillstone instead.

I'm thinking it was written by Sydney Carter or Leon Rosselson, but I'm not certain.
Thanks, Dale