This is from a thread in 2007, its a song Ive heard a few times over in Whitby and the North East of England.

Tony Leonard sings this song great and is the organiser of this week-ends Staithes Singaround.

Teaching Me Worm How To Swim………………Bill Newton

Dm
I was sat by the river with me rod and line
C                        Dm
Nice and comfortable feeling fine
            C                        Dm
When this bailiff feller said , what are you doin
C                   Dm
If you don't own up I'll have to run you in

            C                               Dm      Am                               Dm
I said I'm teaching me worm, how to swim,         Teaching me worm how to swim
          F                C                   Am                           Dm
He's looking fit, he's looking trim He's trained for hours down in the gym
       C                               Dm                      Am                                 Dm
The rod and line's just to steady him, I'm teaching me worm how to swim

Dm
He said the sign up there says the fishing's private
             C                            Dm
And the only conclusion that I can arrive at
          C                   Dm
Is that far from animal aquatic coaching
C                      Dm
What your doin is bloody poaching                        

Chorus
Then he said what are all these worms in a tin
Your surely not going to throw them all in
I said their skills are highly prized
Coz they do swimming what's synchronised

Chorus
Just then me worm was grabbed by a trout
And in trying to rescue I pulled the fish out
Then I shouted what are you going to do,
Your fish eat me worm, now I'm going to sue

Chorus

Dm
Now I know your Honour you judge on merit
       C                               Dm
Just like last week with me cave rescue ferret
       C               Dm
My interest is in animal coaching
       C                         Dm
You surely can't think I was poaching