I've just this afternoon heard an interview with the new chess champion, who is record-breakingly young. So let's go with a related jest, which happens to be seasonal:

Several years ago, an international chess tournament was being held in a swank hotel in New York. Most of the major stars of the chess world were there, and after a gruelling day of chess, the players and their entourages retired to the lobby of the hotel for a little refreshment. In the lobby, some players got into a heated argument about who was the brightest, the fastest, and the best chess player in the world. The argument got quite loud, as various players claimed that honour.

At that point, a security guard in the lobby turned to another guard and commented, "If there's anything I just can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I got this from the UNIX fortune database. Proper accreditation gratefully accepted.