The W.C. Fields quote I posted wasn't actually from a movie, but from a memorable incident that happened around 1934 when he was shooting a film with child actor Baby Leroy. Fields didn't particularly like working with children, particularly Leroy.
Between scenes, he surreptitiously spiked the tot's milk/orange juice bottle (depending on which version you read) with booze. When it became obvious that the child was drunk and could not perform, Fields feigned innocence and uttered the above quote.
Of course, if something like that happened today, Fields would be arrested and slapped with a laundry list of criminal charges.
And the quote about not drinking water - that's a famous one, but I believe he used a more graphic word instead of "make love"!