Hi all,

I don't know if this is the right place for this comment, but...after a year and a half of trying to see the good in a bullying manager who exhibits absolutely no signs of empathy, compassion, caring - or ethical benaviour - I had to reluctantly come to the conclusion that, to save myself and my health and sanity, I had to stop trying to treat him as if he was basically a "good" person who was only confused or temporarily behaving badly.

As a result of this conclusion I decided that I would have to treat him differently from other people who are trying in whatever way they can to do the right thing by others. In other words, this man's only concern is to guard his own back and whoever comes within his range is cannon fodder, fair game, etc.

I am sure that most other 'Catters will realise just how difficult it was to make this leap of judgement. I have always believed that there is some good in everyone, and you just have to find the right trigger to help them manifest it, and that there are usually understandable reasons for their behaviour. This man deliberately and coldheartedly hurt me, systematically and methodically, over a full year and a half, and no matter what I said to him or how I acted or behaved, he continued to make the same choices and show no compassion whatsoever.

This is the most difficult change of life-philosophy I have ever had to face, in my whole life.

This is one person who would have to:

a) recognise that he has a problem - (unlikely event, based on my experience of him)

b) consciously decide to do something positive to try to correct the problem - (also highly unlikely)

c) commit his time and energy to a long-term attempt to correct the problem - and it wouldn't just be a quick fix solution because it appears to me to be a very deep seated problem

Helen