1. The woman with Victim Hair must get it, in the first 12 minutes, usually in an act involving sexual sadism just barely repressed enough to make an R rating.

2. No matter how unlikely in terms of the plot, the perp must be the better-known actor in a scene involving unknowns as the other possible suspects.

3. No matter the danger, if a name actor has received billing as a main player, s/he cannot be killed until nearly the end, if at all, and if death appears to have occurred, it must be just a faked death for money or to catch a bad guy.

4. If a woman turns her back on the bad guy she just killed, in completely exhausted relief, he must get up again and she or her hero must attempt to kill him all over again.

5. The secret agent's (or detective's) trusted mentor and grizzled supervisor must be dirty, on the take, selling arms, a mole, a double agent, etc. He bad.

6. Sainted mothers (dumpy and ample) must never be the perp. But tightly controlled moms with perfect hair can seldom avoid being nailed in the end.

Don't get me started on priests in movies. But feel free, if the spirit moves you, to have a go yourself!

~S~