Did you hear about the guy who got a viagra caught in his throat and got a stiif neck?


There's a guy who has gotten into the habit of stopping at the local pub after Mass on Sunday afternon. His wife usually puts up with it but one week tells him,"Now this sunday is our anniversary. I want you to go to town after Mass, and pick up everything we had for dinner that night in Paris on our honeymoon. Get a good bottle of Merlot, some good cheese, good crusty bread, and escargot. And don't stop at the bar!" The guy goes the following sunday, and sure enough, he has to walk right by his favorite bar to get to the bakery. His friend see him through the door and call to him. He tells his story and tries to beg off, but they keep after him, and tell him "Just stop for one. It's on us!" Well. one leads to two, two leads to ten, afternoon turns to evening. Our hero needs a good excuse and turns to the bartender who gives him the best he can think of. The man runs home, and as he gets to the front walk, he takes out the escargot, and puts them in a line on the wlakway. He opens the door, and as his wife comes running to the door to chew him out, he turns to the snails and yells "Hurry up already!"


Same guy, same wife. He stops for "just one" after work, and ends being there for awhile. He gets quite drunk, and throws up on his shirt. He turns to the bartender who tells him, "Take $20 stick it in one pocket and tell your wife that you were fine, but the guy next to you got sick and threw up on you. Then give her the $20 and say that he gave it to you to pay for your shirt." The guy thinks that just might work and settle down to another pint. He stays for a little while longer and goes home. His wife sees him and starts to yell and he hands her $40 and tells her about the guy who threw up and the $20 for his shirt. His wife asks why there's $40 then and he replies "He shit in my pants, too."