99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girlfriends- 1. Only expensive once. 2. If they come unstrung, it only takes a few minutes to fix them. 3. Any dischord in the relationship can be fixed with tuning forks. 4. Don't mind if you hang out with an old one for a while. 5. Willing to cuddle whenever you are. 6. Don't care if you forget when you got them. 7. Can keep many at a time, with no problems. 8. Always love your taste in music. 9. There's books on how they work. 10. Don't ask if they look fat. 11. Become more valuable physically as they age. 12. Always have good character.

Well, there's twelve. Need some help on the next 87. Any takers?