northfolk--Here's that dog story! But now you'll know---THE REST OF THE STORY!!

I had a farm in Africa!---er, no, that's wrong. Gonna start over.

I had a hunting dog that was such a good hunting dog that we had to close one side of his nose with a clothespin with a little set-screw on it to accomplish that. One day we forgot to put the clothespin on the dog and, wouldn't ya know, that was the very day there were 2 rabbits hangin' out in the old hollow tree! One side of the dogs nose was smellin' one rabbit and the other nostril was smelling the other rabbit. He got the strangest look on his face and all of a suddon, POW---he split himself in two. Half of the pup went after one rabbit and the other half went after the other rabbit! Later, 1/2 came trotting back and licked my left shoe. The other 1/2 came back & licked my right shoe. Well, I grabbed to 2 halves o' my favorite hunting dog and stuck him together--tied him up quick in my shirt 'cauuse I had no bandages with me at the time. I ran home with him and put him in front of the television to keep him entertained. I tuned in ORAL ROBERTS--the healing evangelest. Figured if that didn't heal him up, nothing would! (Once I had an Oral Roberts record, but the hole in the center kept healing shut! We never did get to hear it.)

I fed him every day. Gave him water too. At one point he stuck his head out and ate a hundred dollar bill I'd left on the chair there; really ticked me off.

He sat there healing for 3 years. I know it was 3 years 'cause the Chicago Bulls won their first 3 championships during the time he sat there, and he loved to watch Michael & Scotty, but not Dennis until the day Dennis had a blue dog sculpted into his hair. (Said it was "Old Blue")

Blue got to squiming around so bad that I finally figured it was time to untie my shirt and see how he was doing. V-E-R-R-Y C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y I untied the shirt, opened it up, and let it fall. The dog just LEAPED out o' there---ran around the room so fast he was just a blur. He was up on the walls he was runnin' so fast! When he finally did slow down, and I got a chance to take a real look, I was NOT prepared for what I saw!

Apparently, I'd been in such a hurry to put the 2 halves of him together, that I put him together WRONG!! Oh, he'd healed up fine, but he had healed with 2 legs sticking straight up in the air. The other 2 legs pointed down! He was the strangest looking pup I'd ever seen in my entire life. But he never had to quit chasing them rabbits! He'd run after 'em with 2 legs, and when he got tired, he'd flip over and run on the other 2 legs. That way he could rest one set o' legs while he was running on the other pair. After that, we never knew if he was comin' or goin'. And my uncle used to say that this was the first dog in the history of the world that could bark at both ends!

And if I was in front of an audience of banjo players or singer/songwriters they'd generally be from New York and didn't know a tall tale from a lightbulb joke, and I'd have to stick a punch line on the end to help them know when to react. I'd already set that up by mentioning earlier that the dog had eaten a hundred dollar bill. Then I told them:
Well, I wasn't one to let a hundred dollar bill go without a fight---so I fed him 5 full bottles of mineral oil!! But he couldn't pass it; 'cause it was counterfeit!!!

Now, this tale would get told in many different ways---by me and by others---it depended on the situation. If I was singing for railroad buffs, I'd have Abe Lincoln's funeral train steaming majestically back to Illinois with the body of the slain president. Unfortunately, the train rolls over MY OLD UNCLE'S DOG---splitting him in two!
Today being Halloween, I'd tell it about Lincoln's ghost train, which still can be seen here every Halloween, cutting the dog in half (and cutting off his tail too). Then, later, after the tale is over and done, I'll mention that I KEPT THE TAIL and AFTER THE DOG DIED YEARS LATER, his GHOST cme back looking for the tail. So I took the dog's ghost to the liquor store, 'cause that's where they retail spirits!!!

When Richard Chase, the great tale teller from the Southern mountains, told the tale, he'd have his HAY KNIFE accidentally slice the dog in half. But when I told it that way to young kids, they would generally run out o' the room screaming!

What I needed was a GENTLE way to get the dog in two pieces! And then I heard another separate tale about a hunting dog that was such a good hunting dog that they had to close off one of his nostrils to keep him from chasing 2 rabbits at one time! Now I had a gentle way to split the dog in two!

This is a pretty good example of how the folk process works---the oral tradition!! Sometimes its opportunistic necessity that causes one to change a song or story to fit a given situation or audience---or geographical audience. And that audience only hears the tale told THAT WAY. Whenever they repeat it, the'll try to tell it the way they heard it. Sometimes they'll forget parts of it and "create" on the spur of the moment. That's why it's exciting for me to be involved in the treasure hunt that folk collecting can be, and generally, IS. (This was on the first LP I did for Kicking Mule in the '70s. (Outright Boldfaced Lies--live at the Old Town School of Folk Music) I told it in the middle of the song "Old Blue" so I could stop & rest my hands some. KM-150 -- now owned by Fantasy Records & long gone...

Enjoy (I hope),

Art