The kitchen belongs to me, Period. I do the cooking, wash-up, shopping, (although The Memsahib goes along sometimes), and meal planning. I vacuum, do laundry and pay the bills.
I also take a nap whenever I like or read or play music.
What does The Memsahib do?
She goes to work every day, she runs two bands and plays in another. She handles ALL the bookings and rehersals and makes up the set lists and finds new material. Thanks to her, the Klezmer band has two CDs to sell at concerts. She is the glue that binds it all together.
I drive the truck and deal with sound gear.
This started before I retired and it works. I don't mess with things on her desk. She doesn't use my good knives to cut cardboard.
And she stays the hell out of my kitchen.

troll