Murphy, a well-known freeloader, wanders into a saloon, walks up to Clancy, who's a well-known tightwad.

Clancy: Don't think you can cadge a drink from me, Murphy!

Murphy: Ahhh, no, no. I'll not be drinkin' today. Me doctor won't let me.

Clancy: Oh, are ye ill, then? What did the doctor say?

Murphy: He said I've got a terrible case of yoors.

Clancy: What's yoors?

Murphy: Oh, I'll just have a pint of Guinness, thank ye.

Dave Oesterreich