Regarding the "obituary," I've noticed that when someone dies, usually there is an outpouring of comments about what the departed meant to people. What seems to happen, even when someone is known to be dying, is people save up all their good comments until that person isn't around to hear them.

Give Me Roses:

"Kind words are useless when folks lie cold in a narrow bed
Don't wait till death to speak kind words, now should the words be said"

I can't make the negative stuff go away. Other folks have different opinions, and while I can't understand why others seem to enjoy the acrimonious stuff, I can't (and I don't want to be able to) do anything about it. I think the majority of the crap happens because of the frustration of folks who want the forum and individuals to behave a certain way. The forum isn't one person or one set of opinions of beliefs. There is no overall vision of what it should be, there are many. It's anarchy, and in such a state, each person's conscience is what makes it civilised, not rules.

I can choose to not support the crap. I can choose to discuss and argue rather than attack people. What's even better, I can focus on, and promote the things I enjoy.

We don't like to think of the possibility of friends dying, so we don't consider what we'd say or do if they were gone. We don't want the burden of responsibility that comes with foresight. I don't like thinking about Mudcat going away. Rather than Max getting fed up and pulling the plug, I think it's far more likely that I'll get tired of the bickering, name-calling, offense taking, attempts to control, nit-picking, last-wording, etc., and just wander off. That doesn't seem too likely, because I'm getting better at just ignoring what I see as crap.

I've learned a lot about human nature here, both good and bad. I've learned more about myself than anyone else. I've met some wonderful people so far. Disorganized teams have worked to get bits of knowledge and figure out how to do things. People have shared accomplishments and failures, new life, love and death here, and I've laughed or cried with them. I've seen incredible acts of kindness. It's the people and the bits of themselves they share that make it someplace I enjoy. Mudcat is just a site on the internet, but without Mudcat, the resources here, and the way Max has set up and runs the place, none of this communication could have happened.