Matt - "you know, it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine, your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat" A brilliant and hilarious lyric in a very funny song. "I saw you makin' love to him, you forgot to close the garage door. Well, you might think he loves you for your money, but I know what he REALLY loves you for...it's your brand new leopard skin pillbox hat". What a wicked putdown! Must rank among the most sarcastic lines ever written in popular song.

Now then...that "Sensitive New Age Guys" song has its moments, but overall I think it sucks! Number one, Shirley MacLaine IS on the inside track. Number two, there are lots of guys out there who care more about HER orgasms than they do about their own. Believe me, there are. Just ask around here and there.

So...songs that make me laugh out loud?

* * * The Star Spangled Banner * * *

(Specially when it's sung at hockey games for American teams whose lineup is mostly composed of Canadians, Russians, and Swedes...)

- LH (taking cover hastily behind the statue of General Brock at Niagara)