Answers to your questions - in order -

Quantity of pizza? - Unknown, never been determined

Staring into fridge? - Hoping something has miraculously appeared that looks better than what was there 5 seconds ago. Sure it's unrealistic, but how many realistic teenagers have you met?

Grunt? - None/All of the above.

MTV? - Do all of the above, for your own sanity at least.

Groups? - You've got the right idea, except for scurvy you need vitamin C (citrus). Vitamin D cures rickets.

His point of view about the rest (work of the Devil) is typical and will be outgrown. Unfortunately, you may not be willing to let him live long enough to outgrow them.

You are embarking on a scary, tedious, and ultimately rewarding journey. I wish you the best of luck and can only counsel you to love him, especially when you want to strangle him! (And believe me, at times you WILL want to strangle him.) As Sinsull says, love works. Sometimes it just takes too damn long. Hang in there and good luck.

jeffp (been there, still there)