Kids in their teens need two basic things from their adults. They need to know that they have some independence and they need to know they are loved and accepted. These are not necessarily diametrically opposing views. Trust the child and let him know you trust him. Also make sure that he knows of your disappointment when he fails a test of trust. And do so with love and the understanding that your ability to trust him has been strained and needs to heal (e.g., I trusted you to call me when you went to X's house. You didn't. Because of this I would like you to tell me when you go over to X's house again before you go. No threats, no angry outburst (it's OK to be angry, just control it) no apparent irrational response.)

The kid also needs to know you are there for him. He needs to know you will support his decisions and when you can support them. And he needs to know he can make these decisions.

It seems pretty complicated but it isn't. You always perform a balancing act but once you get the rhythm you will be fine.