Not much advice from here, but a lot of empathy. In our society, we don't get any training or, usually, much support in our parenting. I've raised 2 boys mostly alone from the ages of 2 1/2 & 5 1/2 to now 16 & 19. Each stage we go through is new to us on both sides & we do the best we can, w/ love, communication, & some level of mutual respect. I have never claimed to be perfect & I am rather liberal w/ my kids, but there comes a point at which my word is still law. As others have said, choose your battles & allow the young one space to mature & learn responsibility for his actions. The latest milestone on the homefront is the 1st break-up w/ a girlfriend. It seemed, at the time, that it was appropriate for me to help out w/ advice to both sides. Now, my son & the girl are making up & she & I can't stand each other. Awkward. Maybe next time, the better part of valor will be for me to stay out of it. I hope my son will still be willing to confide in me if he needs an adult opinion. Sigh. You can't go too far wrong w/ love & communication, I think. Just for the record, I still think he's better off w/out this girl, but I realize that it *is* his life (& I am trying to keep my mouth shut, at least from now on).

best,

bbc (older &, perhaps slightly wiser, in NY)