Thank you Amos, but i too am just another of those "searching for an answer." It's like the old philosophy joke about a blind man looking for a non-existent black cat in a black room with no windows.

I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread because it does something all parents need........yeah, you need to communicate with your teen, but perhaps even more, we need to communicate with each other. As both a particiant and as a trainer in alternative care parenting, the shared experiences can produce new approaches and something that did not work for one may be just what YOU need. Every situation has many things in common, but the human factor means it is always different too.

I've never been an advocate of going to classes to have someone tell us how to parent, but classes that approach only one aspect and give you specific ideas AND allow for shared communication are the most beneficial skill builders for any thinking parent. Foster and Adoptive parents are "forced" into this and I think most begin to enjoy the good sessions after awhile because they always come away feeling better about themselves and their situations.......and with a few new "tacks" to try. Always made me believe that bio parents could do with some of the same "forcing" but it would never fly of course.

Spaw