Well, those of you who participated in the Mudcat Shite-Free Tavern thread know what "Dry as Turkey Turd Beer" means.

Here's another coined by another relative of mine, my grandmother : Drink lots of cold water and walk slow. She was a wise woman.

As opposed to my grandfather, who was always saying things like : I'd rather try to shove butter up a wildcat's ass with a hot poker. A bit too obvious, but, perhaps, wise as well, especially when referring to tangling with Gramma.