"Could have" - blaming the victim takes a new twist here.

This is a public forum. Hints and rumour and speculation feed on hints and rumours and speculation, and real people can get hurt.

Just try and imagine it - your wife has killed your five children, and you're probably trying to work out whether there was anyway you did or didn't do that contributed to it happening, as inevitably you would, whether there was orvthere wasn't. And out on the net total strangers who don't have the facts about it are pointing fingers of blame at you and saying they reckon you are responsible.

And if that kind of thing is happening in a restrained kind of way here, on what is a pretty decent forum, God knows what kind of stuff is being thrown around on some of the other sites around.

And I suppose if the man were to kill himself now, people would just say "well, that shows he must have been to blame".

Tragic terrible things happen to people. Rushing to judgement and playing "blame the victim" is a horrible game.