Áine sez: "So, if you have any more civet sonnets up your slick sleeves, then please enter them post haste."

Well, if you insist. Songs have been crying out to me to be parodied for this CHALLENGE!, like kittens mewing for their mother's milk. ...and you should never ignore the Mews (I mean, Muse).


DOES THE COFFEE GAIN ITS FLAVOR IN THE CIVET OVERNIGHT?
(Tune: "Does the Spearmint Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?")

Oh me, oh my, oh poo. Did I drink civet doo?
I'll say tó ya, the taste sure is peculiah
It's cost me lots of dough
I'd give my arse to know
If someone washed the beans off. Tell me yes; please say it's so!

Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?
If you drink it in the morning, will it have a certain bite?
Can't you see it's going through him? Won't somebody say I'm right?
Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?

The Starbucks shops, as one, had spent a lot of mon'
To find soused-up critters and their sh*thouse
They saw where civets "went"; they said that they'd been sent
To save the buried beans when civets were incontinent

Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?
If you pull it out his hinder, will he snap at you and bite?
If it tastes like kudu droppings, will you spit and watch its flight?
Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?

Here come the beans, they're dried and roasted (never fried)
But they oughtter have been rinsed in water
These beans, when brewed, may bring diseases that can spring
Up in your guts and set you on your "throne" just like a king

Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?
Would you dig for beans in Áine's backyard when she is not in sight?
Put your civet on a gold commode; you'll find rich beans, all right!
Does the coffee gain its flavor in the civet overnight?


And last, but hopefully not least...


E-MAIL FROM STARBUCKS
(TUNE: "Letter from LBJ: Lyndon Johnson Told the Nation" by Tom Paxton)

I got an e-mail from Starbucks, say-
-ing, "This is your unlucky day.
It's time to put you hip-high waders on.
Though it may seem very mean,
We've got to pick the coffee bean
So we are sending you to Viet Nam."

Starbucks bigwigs told the nation:
"Have some 'joe', a new creation
For our patrons who are hard to please.
Though it really comes from poop,
We're sending employees to scoop
It up and take it all from the Viet Namese."

I jumped off the big cruise ship
And sank in crud up to my hips!
I cussed the toddy cats and dug right down.
Never mind how hard we're weeping;
Think of all the grounds we're reaping.
Just don't take one step into the town!

Ev'ry night the local gentry
Walk right past us; they're unfriendly.
They don't shoot the sh*t; that's not "P.C."
But the thoughts that always calm us
Are "At least they don't still bomb us"
And "Just think how filthy rich we'll be."

We go home, and there a coffer
Of rewards does Starbucks offer
But we ask for other work in vain
For the odor lingers on
Our bodies; lawsuits fought and won
Have paid us for our suff'ring and our pain.

Here I sit at home so sadly,
Gave up coffee-drinking gladly
And I know that Starbucks hates me, too.
Yet the memory's so tender
Of the days when I would render
Civet crap.... and I still smell like doo!