How many of us have been in this situation? And is it always the fiddle player? lol

ONE: are you playing in this band for fun? This doesn't sound like fun to me. Find some others to play with.

TWO: Are you playing in this band for money? In my experience, no matter how how good any player is, this sort of strife will show in your performance. Ultimately, that will hurt how much money you can make.

We had the same situation, a talented player that would seem to sabotage everything the band (and myself as the bandleader) tried to do. I stuck it out for several years, hoping we could work things out. Confrontations, long talks, threats, and the behavior would just continue. Finally had to fire the person. I thought the band would suffer from the loss, but went on to find other musicians, not as talented, but team players. The band I play with now is pure joy, and we're making more money now than ever.

Sometimes talent isn't the main thing. :)

Robin