Couldn't wait.

The Ballad of Jed's Limp Pet
tune: The Ballad of Jed Clampett

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
A man so limp he couldn't please his wife in bed
But then one day he was talkin' with his doc
He got some little blue pills for the firmin' of the cock
(spoken) Viagra, that is. Medical miracle.

So he hurried on home and he said to his wife,
"Prepare yourself for the lovin' of your life!"
She got all hot, and was ready with a will
So into his mouth he popped a little blue pill
Nothing happened. She got bored.

Then Jed read the bottle, it said it takes an hour
His wife was fast asleep before his tool began to flower
He woke her up gently and said, "dear, take off your clothes!"
And she told him very plainly he could stick it up his nose!
But he couldn't, really. It wasn't that long.

So he went back to the doctor the very next day
The doctor said, "try this new nasal spray!"
But Jed said sadly he was runnin' out of dough
But it warn't "the pill" and so 'twas covered by his HMO!
Talk about your social injustice. I mean really.

Now Jed is retired, and it's all very spiffy
Just a snort up his nose and he's got an instant stiffy
They make love all night till they're both completely spent
And the whole thing is paid for by the U.S. Government.
Medicare, that is. God bless America!

Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

line break fixed by mudelf ;-)