My husband's got Viagra in him
tune: My husband's got no courage in him

As I walked out one May morning
As all the larks were wingin'
I saw two ladies on a fence
And one of them 'er 'ands was wringin'

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

For twenty years we bounced in bed
When 'e was young and lissome
Only gettin' up to comb 'is 'ead
Or wash or maybe piss some

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

Then another ten years I had reprieve
When Willie-o grew flaccid
And me 'usband took (would you believe!)
All manner of potions and acids

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

But nothing could put 'is Johnson right
Which didn't bother me none
Until one dark and fateful night
A little blue pill grew his wee one

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

But the little blue pill was a slowsome way
To satisfy me mannie
This week 'e came 'ome with a nasal spray
That quickly grows 'is Stanley

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

Six children I have raised and fed
And sent off to seek their fortune
And I told my daughters, "Keep your maiden'ead!"
"Let no man you importune!"

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

"But wait!" the other lady said,
"Surely lovin' gives you a good feelin'?"
"Oh yes," the first one nods 'er 'ead,
"It's just I 'ate the bedroom ceilin'!"

O! dear O! -- O! dear O!
Me 'usband's got Viagra in 'im!
O! dear O!

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.