There are worse ways than in a doctor's office:

The following is a nominee for the 2000 Darwin Award (for people who do something so stupid that they are either killed or something else happens to them so they can and no longer pass on their genes) -- it didn't make it, because they were unable to confirm the story and suspect that it might be an urban myth. nevertheless:---

A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts.

Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the thief will fully recover -- except for one small detail. "It was a do-it-yourself vasectomy." This man's daring supermarket exploits make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to tell the tale.

The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit has already "gone through enough pain (to) learn his lesson."

A lobster down the pants could be used as a last resort.

Don Firth