Well, I still haven't got the words but I think Liz the Squeak is on the right track with Les Barker - I think a mate of mine has a book of his songs - it sounds mad enough to be one of his! Anyway thanks everyone who replied - it was worth starting the thread just to picture the image of Les trying to get through his act whilst Liz is digging chocolate out of her cleavage!(Nice one lady penelope - by the way, do you know anyone called parker???)