THE FARTING LASS (Frank Dixon) (to the tune of "The Parting Glass")
Of all the sweethearts e'er I had The fairest was sweet Shirley Wood For when other lasses would not be bad You were always certain that she surely would
She had a really big (boom boom) And quite a nice set of (boom boom) And other parts that inspire romance But one night she showed me her tragic flaw A flaw that you'd call flatulence
Well we ate all day for the food was free And that night we made love as we often would Then I struck a match for I wished to see What it was in her room that did not smell good
The mattress was blown (boom boom) Right through the floor (boom boom) And I was blown right through the door Thus ends the tale of the Farting Lass For alas, her farting little tail's no more