I seem to recall Steve Benbow doing an Irish version of this long before Robin Hall & Jimmy McGregor.

All I can recall is...


I have a favourite brother, and his name is Paul
He's lately joined a football club, 'cos he's mad about football.
.........(something, something, something,)............
They'd two half bricks for goal posts and a tin can for the ball

Chorus: He's football crazy, He's football mad.
Football it has taken away the little bit of sense he had
Oh, It would take a dozen servants to wash his clothes and scrub
since Paul became a member of that terrible football club.

It was in the middle of the field at Masterton, the captain says to Paul
'Would you kindly take me place, 'cos your mad about football.'
He took a few steps backward and shot off from the mark,
The ball went sailing over the bar and landed in New York.

Chorus:
His wife she says she'll leave him, if Paul he doesn't keep,
away from football kicking at night time in his sleep.
He calls her Pat McGinty, and other names so droll.
Last night he kicked her out of the bed and swore it was a goal.

Chorus: