Bless me Turnip for I have sinned. I now freely turn my entire life over to you and have taken all of your advice so find something else to harp on huh? I am throwing away all of our beds and sleeping on the floor, and soon the guy will be done bricking up the closets. I have arranged to change my e-mail on a regular basis and can now be found at turnipdisciple@dickhead.ass. Please forward all correspondence to this e-mail immediately before it changes in 37 minutes.

I have lined the walls with mirrors so no one can sneak up on me and have hired an agency to follow me in case someone else is following me. Tomorrow I will hire another PI to track them and another to follow him. I'll be tracking the last guy and when we get the circle small enough, we'll hold a circle jerk in your honor. We'll send you pictures if you are still using the e-mail addy of paranoidturnip@completeasshole.fuckme.

Many thanks for straightening out my life.

ex-Spaw, now Turnip Disciple#1